We have all heard the phrase “Laughter is the Best Medicene”, but what can it really do for an Ageless Beauty Wannabe? Turns out, a lot!
First off laughter causes the pituitary gland to release pain-suppressing opiates. Hmm… so laughter is a drug. No wonder you feel so much better after laughing.
- Reduces certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline (stress causes inflammation the #1 cause of aging)
- Increases vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood (more oxygen means healthier skin and body)
- Increases memory and learning, John Hopkins University Medical School did a study showing humor led to increased test scores (we need more comedians in our schools!)
There is even a new field of study called “gelotology”, which explores the benefits of laughter. That made me laugh!
The idea for this post came to me after I read something that someone posted on Facebook. It was one of the most funny excerpts I have ever read. I busted out loud laughing. It even changed the course of how I felt for the whole day.
So go ahead, read this and laugh your way to ageless beauty.
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
- ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
- WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
- ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
- WITNESS: My name is Susan!
- ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
- WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
- ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
- WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
- ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
- WITNESS: July 18th.
- ATTORNEY: What year?
- WITNESS: Every year.
- ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
- WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
- ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
- WITNESS: Forty-five years.
- ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
- WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
- WITNESS: I forget..
- ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
- ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
- WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
- ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
- WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
- ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
- WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
- ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
- WITNESS: Yes.
- ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
- WITNESS: Getting laid
- ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
- WITNESS: Yes
- . ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
- WITNESS: None.
- ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
- WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
- ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
- WITNESS: By death..
- ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
- WITNESS: Take a guess.
- ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
- WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
- ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
- WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
- ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
- WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
- ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
- WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
- ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
- What school did you go to?
- WITNESS: Oral…
- ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
- WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
- ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
- WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished
- ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
- WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
- WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
- WITNESS: No..
- ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
- WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
- ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
- WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
See don’t you feel younger and happier already?
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